Mastering On Camera Mindset: Breaking Free from Fear and Limits with Jacqui Ashley (Episode 165)

Jacqui Ashley:

You can go down that rabbit hole where you start comparing yourself, and then that's where all this limiting beliefs that come up for you over and over. And, and here's the thing, you know, the only person you should be really comparing to is you.

[00:00:20] And this is better.

[00:00:30] Chris Schwager: We're in, we're recording. Oh, we're in Ja. Jacqui Ashley is joining us on this week's episode of the Video Made Simple podcast. Oh, look at that beautiful smile. If you happen to see this on our YouTube channel, what a gorgeous smile Jacqui has. Look at that. Smile goes a long way. Jacqui, give, give the audience a little bit of an intro as to you and, and I guess how we, uh, have come together on this podcast.

[00:00:57] Jacqui Ashley: Oh, hi everyone. My name is Jacqui Ashley. I am a mindset coach. Well, I actually have a couple of business. So one business is I have a recruitment business, recruiting doctors around Australia. And so it's a locum agency. And the other one is, um, a coaching business. So apart from coaching doctors, I also coach leaders, um, around mindset to help them to overcome some mindset barriers so they can show up and transform the world as they're authentically themselves to be the best version of themselves. And Chris ---

[00:01:34] Chris Schwager: You've had plenty of experience with the coaching side of it. How did you fall into the doctor? Is it doctor recruitment? Did you say?

[00:01:40] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, yeah, Dr. Recruitment. So actually, my, I've always been part of it, just been more of a silent, um, I guess, um, contribution because it's actually was my husband's, um, business. So this was set up quite a few years ago in 2002. Uh, we set up a recruitment business recruiting doctors and then, um, you know, back then I had. I had my, my, um, my daughter, so I took some time off, and I was already a coach then, so I thought, okay, I'll do this part time coaching while I'm helping my husband set up the, the doctor's, um, business.

[00:02:24] And, um, you know, I got really busy with my coaching, and, um, I took a step back in, uh, the recruitment business, and then recently, recently, I've, um, kind of stepped back into it. So, um, yeah, just to take it to the next level. So kind of done a little bit of a rebranding as well recently. So yeah. I'm excited...

[00:02:51] Chris Schwager: We met through Linh Podetti, a good friend of everybody's really everybody. Everybody knows Linh, right? DIY client and that that was out. And that was also our connection in the early days. It seems like it was years since we've asked you to come on the show. But we've had several reschedules and priorities, other priorities hit, uh, to interfere with that. But it's great to have you on. And so obviously we had spent a bit of time together with some video coaching back in the day, giving you a bit of an overview on the world of DIY videos using Desktop Studio. How was that experience for you?

[00:03:29] Jacqui Ashley: Oh, Chris, I tell you what, it was an eye opener. And you've taught me so much to talk me about tonality as well. And I had to say initially it was, it was quite a challenge because I really had to change the way I, I guess, communicated and the way I use it my voice, and even now, sometimes when I'm doing video, I've got to remind myself, okay, this comma, when I do this, when it goes up, and so, yeah, yeah, um, yeah, exactly, but I've had some, I've actually had some, a lot of feedback from people who've actually watched the videos. We've got them on the website and they've, they said, Oh, you know, um, you know, I really liked your video. So. Thank you, Chris, for your tips and all your coaching.

[00:04:19] Chris Schwager: You're very welcome. I'm glad I could be of service. You're not using the DIY desktop studio, though, are you now?

[00:04:27] Jacqui Ashley: No, not yet, not yet, because I'm moving around a lot. So I'm not sure this is my permanent space yet. So, yeah, once I get to that, I think I will be ready for that. Yeah, at the moment.

[00:04:42] Chris Schwager: Sorry, go on, yeah.

[00:04:44] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, at the moment, if I need a studio to do quite a few videos, this suffice for now, but all I will just use Linh Podetti's studio. Um, cause that's originally where we set up.

[00:04:58] Chris Schwager: She just charges you per hour.

[00:05:00] Jacqui Ashley: Well, actually the company paid for it initially as I was part of Dawn Media Productions.

[00:05:06] Chris Schwager: Right, so you got a bit of a share in it, do you?

[00:05:09] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, I did have a bit of a share of it.

[00:05:11] Chris Schwager: Well, you guys inspired us with your, with your little, uh, videos that you produce promoting the studio as like a dry hire, because we ended up just recently in the last month, put one into Brisbane into a like a WeWork up there called Serve Corp. Um, so it's on level 16 or something of some building in a, in a room that the locals there can can access, you know, on an hourly basis and whatnot. And it's also a bit of a showroom or demo model. If you like, for those that are in Brisbane that can go on. Get their hands on it and actually take it for a ride before they buy. So we'd like to be doing more of those that in each States would be really handy. I can do it. I've had plenty of people come to my studio in Sydney. Um, but yeah, next target will be Melbourne. And, uh, you know, it's funny because I've had people come, I've had one lady recently that I've closed. She came in. She's like, I really want to just try it out and record a little video and like, show my husband because I've pretty much got to get his approval. So she comes in, we spend a bit longer than usual. And, uh, she does a recording or something and she goes, okay, great. Sign me up. And I was like, don't you want to check with your husband? She's like, no, don't worry about that. It's okay.

[00:06:19] Jacqui Ashley: I love it. No, I was going to say that's a great idea, oh that's great! You've got a great setup too where you're at, Chris, so definitely you should try more. Yeah.

[00:06:32] Chris Schwager: Yeah. Look, it's, it's exciting times, but I'm, I'm wanting to know what, from your perspective on a, as being a coach, what, what is the general limit that people, the general excuse or the thing that holds them back? You talked about that right at the start. What is that thing? You know, if you had to generalize it.

[00:06:52] Jacqui Ashley: You know what? One word always comes up, fear and confidence.

[00:06:59] Chris Schwager: Right. Fear of what?

[00:07:01] Jacqui Ashley: Fear of judgment. Like when you get into the front of the camera, fear of judgment. Like, what if I say things, what I say the wrong things or, you know, you know, what will people think of me or what will people say or, you know, my voice isn't great. I'm not I don't have a, a beautiful face or, and there's so many, but they're all, it all comes down to, to feel fear. And they're like, Oh, I don't have the confidence to, to go in front of the camera. I'm like, but you got to start somewhere. It's just like, you know, do you remember the first time you rode a bike? Like, honestly, how many times we get on the bike and we fall off and we're really not confident. Right. So you, you get your first, your. You're unconsciously incompetent, and then you realise you're like consciously incompetent and then you go through that stage once you keep, you, okay, you, you get off and you make a few mistakes and then you jump back on and you're like, Oh, okay, kind of, kind of got the hang of it every now and then, it's still there and then you get to the point where, Oh, hello, I'm writing for like two minutes nonstop. So consciously confident. Yeah, but I'm not even thinking about it. And then you keep practicing and you enjoy doing you do it every day and and then you get to the unconscious competence stage. And I think in life everything is the same as well. You go through that process and confidence is is a skill set. You know, you, you might have the courage to give it a go. I always say, have the courage to give it a go, right? But you know, have the, you'll get the confidence to build it up as you keep practicing.

[00:08:44] Chris Schwager: And specifically though, like you talk about the fear of being judged, but for your clients, what are they being judged about?

[00:08:55] Jacqui Ashley: So it's a lot of the self talk. It's a lot of the fear of, you know, what, fear of judge, fear of failure. What if I do this and it doesn't work out, right? Um, or even fear of success, you know. What if I do this and I become successful, then what happens? You know, how do I cope with all that? And so it all comes back to, to, to fear-based. It all comes back to this, the self talk that we keep telling ourselves and that self talk affects the way we feel about ourselves and then therefore affects our behavior over and over and over again. Yes. Right? Yes. And then that creates the reality, your reality. So, you know, I say to my clients, if you want to change your reality, you must first of all change the way you think. Yes. So that it changed the way you feel and your behavior. Now you can also, right, in order for you to change the results, you change your psychology or your physiology. 'cause changing your physiology can also make a difference.

[00:09:58] Chris Schwager: Mm-hmm. Right? And the environment in your end.

[00:10:00] Jacqui Ashley: And the envi. Yeah. You've gotta, you know, like if you wanna do videos, you've gotta find the right coach, right? Chris? You gotta find someone who is experienced, right Plug, right Who's experienced, who takes you through the journey, who gives you. Plus, also, you can't just meditate and everything will come. It's taking action, taking those action and, and getting those feedback because everything that you get is feedback, right? Any results that you see is nothing but feedback, right? If someone said you did this, you know, wrong, it's feedback. It's just feedback. Okay. So how did I do it wrong? Or if the comments, the reviews weren't great, you know, in terms of your business. Okay. So again, it's just feedback. What can I do to, to, to overcome this? What are the learnings that I need to take in order for me to improve or get better or to change my results? And first of all, it's changing your mindset. And that's the thing, a lot of people have that fixed mindset where they, they, Oh, I can't do this or my abilities are limited to this.

[00:11:09] Chris Schwager: To have a professional look online, you really need a professional setup. With a solution that allows you to switch it on and start shooting videos. Well, with the DIY Video Program, you get a fully equipped desktop video studio, you get expert scripting on camera training, video coaching, and all the skills you need to simplify and speed up your video creation process. If you want to learn more, go to ridgefilms.com.au/diy.

[00:11:37] How much of like, um, mindset, how much of this is, is talking about mindset versus the practical application. Obviously feedback is such a great thing to learn because as a individual, you can beat yourself up like crazy going on. Why did I do it that way? I should have, I would have, could have, imperative language and all that stuff. And it's a it's it's completely unproductive, right? Rather than just nipping in the bud and have a pragmatic view on things and saying, look, fuck, it happened the way it happened and that's the way it needed to be, right? And let's acknowledge that and then move on, right? We can actually take those things away for us, look at ways we can do it better next time. Tony Robbins had a statement, which is, um, repetition is the mother of skill. And I heard this a lot. And I do believe that is the best way to improve. However, a lot of people have taken that as Bible and said, okay, well, I've got to spend the next fucking three years trying to figure out my performance.

[00:12:44] Well, that's a hell of a journey to get to, you know, where you're at right now, for instance, but because they haven't appointed someone more specialized to expediate that process, they're in a rut of going. Oh, well, this is the journey I'm on. Like, there is a place for coaches and there's a reason why they exist. You've got a coach in bloody soccer. You've got a coach in business, right? You got to wash and you have a coach in life to help you also and support you on the limitations that are around you, continuously in front of you. It could be anything from, I need to lose, uh, why am I so fat? Versus, uh, why is my business not making enough money? Why, personally, can I not, uh, get ahead of my bills and whatnot?

[00:13:31] So. The most common thing for you with regards to your clients, what is the one thing that they often say in terms of obviously fear and limitations and whatnot, but what are the, what, what is the language, what is the tone of your audience out there that's fairly common across all of your clients?

[00:13:54] Jacqui Ashley: I always hear. I'm not good enough.

[00:13:58] Chris Schwager: Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

[00:13:59] Jacqui Ashley: It always comes up, but here's the thing.

[00:14:01] Chris Schwager: It's so dirty. That's the, that's the, that's like, that's worse than fuck you or fuck me or I'm shit. Right? Like, do you know what I mean? Like people, people obsess about language and I'm going like that, that, that, that language, that's in the bloody dictionary, right? The worst word I can ever say in my family and what I really constantly always pull on my kids up on is can't. I said, sorry, what did you just say to me? What did you say? And my little five year old, God bless her, she, at school, was trying to put on a backpack. I'd loosened it all off because I carried a backpack for her. She got to school and she wanted to, she wanted to get it on, she couldn't tie it up. She went, you She goes, uh, uh, Dad, I can do this. I can tighten this up, made a real poignant thing about it, and she was five, and I'm like, yeah, if you get that right now, if you get that now at your age, that can't is actually the, is full of bullshit. It's, it's, it's an excuse, and it's full of Untruths. It's just inaccurate. Completely 100 percent inaccurate.

[00:15:07] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, I tell the girl, you know, we have a motto, actually. Funny enough, following that, my kids, so my son always says, yeah, I can't, I can't do this. I can't do this. So we came up with a motto. We said no. You say, I can, I can, and I will. I can, I can, and I will. So every time I hear the word, I can't, I say, you can, you can, and you will.

[00:15:32] Chris Schwager: Any reason for the two repetition cans in there at the start?

[00:15:37] Jacqui Ashley: Well, actually, I would add another one, which is I can, I can and can, because number three is a great, three is a great number for the, for the brain. The subconscious mind loves the number three, but it just became a kind of like a little like, uh, you know, um, just a quick modest, I can, I can, and I will, you know, it's just that rhyme kind of thing. So,

[00:15:55] Chris Schwager: yeah, yeah, yeah, and like, it's so great to ingrain that in these kids, you know, because it's, you know, they're in a, they're in a different world to when I grew up, I guess I'm 48. He's an agent, you know, it's just, they're in, they're in something, they're, they're in a privileged world. They really are. I mean, it's easy to be entitled if you're not steering them in the right direction.

[00:16:14] Actually, my daughter yesterday got a, um, was just on with her friend on Roblox and, and they were playing together. And, you know, Roblox is like this virtual environment where they kind of go into houses and out of houses and play dress ups and all this other stuff. It's really, really cute, really popular. I don't know if your kids, are your kids on Roblox?

[00:16:34] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, my son and my daughter.

[00:16:36] Chris Schwager: Yeah, and so, so she. So, so I got this alert on my, uh, email. It's like, uh, subscription, blah, blah, blah, uh, re login to whatever, right? And I was like, I, you know, usually ignore most of my emails these days. In fact, that's something I'll pick your brains on in a sec, checking your emails. But anyway, my wife comes up and she goes, Oh, Shaila's just been booted off Roblox and she can't, she whispered in my ear and she's like, she, um, was had a bully come, uh, someone, you know, sort of pissing them off as they were trying to play together. And she just went, ah, fuck off. And then she was flagged cause that was in a chat. And then she was flagged and she was booted off Roblox. And this might be obscure. This might kind of seem like I'm not much of a parent. If you're listening to this with the orthodox, uh, parenting tactics, but I said, well, get, get her up here. Let's, let's have a chat, you know, see what, what happened. And so we called her up. She sat down in the chair. She was behind me here, right? So I was working. We're both working our asses off and we're just like, let's sit. Just let's do this quick. And let's do this now rather than having it stretch out. And she was, she was always, she was already distressed when she came up and I said, take a seat. You know, she's thinking, Oh fuck, I'm in trouble. So she's already, she's kind of like, yeah, she's like, and I've never had to, you know, I don't want to put any pressure on. She's nine for fuck's sake, you know what I mean? And I said, tell me what happened. We got an alert, you're booted off. And I just, I just addressed it straight away. I said, so you, you wrote fuck off into the chat. Tell me what happened. You know what I mean? Like, just get, let's get to the point. I'm, you know, obviously we were working at the time as well. So I just wanted to get it done quickly. But the main thing is like, let's get to straight into it, not beat it around, dance around the thing. Right. And she said, I was playing with my friend. This, this person was just bugging us. We told him to go away. He wouldn't leave us alone. He just wouldn't leave us alone. And, And so that's why I say, okay, so you realize that when you put that word into the chat, then that's why you would have been booted off. I said, you're not in trouble. Just want you to acknowledge that these things can happen when you're playing games. And it's important that you let us know in this virtual space that this is happening, right? Don't, don't keep it to yourself. You're not in trouble. You can, you know, you're, uh. Um, technically reacted the same way, no matter what wording you use, reacted the same way as anyone else being annoyed, right? Um, and then I just said, but the problem is you would have been flagged because you put fuck into the chat. And so you can see how loose I am with my language with my kids and I. They, they hear that from me and I'm never, I will never, um, discipline them on, on language because they hear it from me and, and it's appropriate when I'm using it, right? Um, and so. While she doesn't go around saying fact fact fact around the house, i thought that was a classic move that was so good and i was kind of almost as proud of her for at least standing up for herself but also just wanted to be super vigilant, I guess, with the way that she's supervised in these games because there is, you know, a lot of times there's not a lot of supervision and we're just kind of letting her do her thing. We trust what she's doing. But yeah, anyway, I was just a big rambling there. I just wanted to kind of like give you insights as to the world of Chris Schwager's parenting.

[00:20:08] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah, no, I love that approach. I love that approach. Because sometimes here's the thing, right? The kids world is very different to ours. And sometimes when we communicate, we communicate through our model of the world, rather than understanding what it is through their own eyes, what we really should be doing is actually communicating it through their eyes and rather than scolding them, well, I have to say, though, sometimes my temper does get the better of me. I think it's the Asian.

[00:20:37] Chris Schwager: Oh, look, that's, I don't think, I don't think it's Asian.

[00:20:41] Jacqui Ashley: Now I'm generalizing here.

[00:20:42] Chris Schwager: I usually get berated if I bring up, oh, it's "because you're Asian" to my wife. And she's like, "that's not got anything to do with it."

[00:20:52] Jacqui Ashley: I can say that as an Asian, that's funny.

[00:20:56] Chris Schwager: Yeah, and it's, and it's funny. I mean, look, I don't know anyone that doesn't get bloody grinded by their children. I mean, it's a human. It's a human reaction to go off the rails and do whatever the hell needs to be done at that time, right? And, uh, I think that's, that's, yeah, nobody should ever beat themselves up. You know, in, in some way, you're, you, as, as what you said earlier, you know, you're just providing feedback for your own, for your own inconsistencies. And if you strongly believe that you overreacted, then that's feedback that then obviously helps to maybe lighten up on the next one. Do you know what I mean? Um, and also just changing the tactic of parenting. If they're not actually, don't look like a puppy dog right now. So.

[00:21:43] Jacqui Ashley: Good times.

[00:21:44] Chris Schwager: So the three girls in my house, the love of my lives are not exactly doing the best job at raising our new boy in the house is, uh, six months old. And so they're kind of turning to dad to, to help them with the training. And I trained our previous dog and, you know, trained our kids to a certain degree, right? Because I, I can very much the puppy training to parental, um, kid training kids. Some huge similarities, um, to it and so just in terms of repetitious behavior and language and tone and, um, and timing as well. Yes. Very, very important in, in the process. So, I've been just starting to work on these things with the dog and I know immediately, I've really not done anything too, too much with the dog so much, but I know he treats me differently. And I can see it when he's, when he's, just see it in his, in his, the body language that he gives me. And it's so beautiful to watch. I did a portion of my segment yesterday talking about body language and communication, um, being so, so important and the way that we, you know, read each other through, through this call and whatnot.

[00:22:56] It's the same with me and the puppy dog. It's me and the kids. Um, you know, you can, I read people fairly well as to what's happening. My wife, you know, particularly after the accident, my wife and seeing when she doesn't, when she's not a hundred percent, I just got to look at her face. And, and, and yeah, and then I obviously have to do a bit of thinking as to what could be triggering her, because if she clams up and doesn't, doesn't communicate right away about it verbally, then I've most likely answered, I've most likely understood it in most cases before she opens her mouth just by looking at her and understanding, um, which is which I find really exciting when you're heightenly aware of how people are acting because they're usually doing it in an unconscious way, that gives you everything you need.

[00:23:56] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah.

[00:23:57] Chris Schwager: To have a professional look online You really need a professional setup with a solution that allows you to switch it on and start shooting videos. Well with the DIY Video Program you get a fully equipped Desktop Video Studio You get expert scripting, on camera training, video coaching and all the skills you need to simplify and speed up your video creation process If you wanna learn more, go to ridgefilms.com.au/diy.

[00:24:23] Jacqui Ashley: I guess.

[00:24:24] Chris Schwager: Anyway, so, so you can, I don't, I don't know who's coaching who here. I feel like I'm taking over take, taking over.

[00:24:31] Jacqui Ashley: I love it. I love it. I love it.

[00:24:33] Chris Schwager: It's exciting though. You know, it's a, it's a funny story. I I like that. You know, I

[00:24:37] Jacqui Ashley: Puppy is a, is a, is a, is a, it is just like a little one of the family, isn't it? And, and it's so funny when you're talking about training them, it is at the end of the day, it's also your tone, how you use it. It applies to everything in how we communicate, your tone, right, your tonality, but your consistency, right, in terms of how you react and also getting clarity, right. Communication with our kids, for example, you know, even sometimes I acknowledges it Acknowledge this is that when I'm communicating with my kids, sometimes there is a bit of a miscommunication because their idea, it could be like, for example, a word, like if you think of one word communication, you and I will, will have a different, both have different meanings of the communication. Of what it means, right? But the thing is, sometimes we communicate to others based on our, our meaning without verifying what it actually means. And this is really important when it comes back, I know we digressed here, but when it comes back to kids, is that when we communicate with them, right. Kids have, and especially at the younger age, right, their, their vocabulary is different. Their model of the world is very different. What they perceive to be, what communication means to them might be totally, completely different to what we think. And sometimes we tend to mind read based on the ours and that communication with our kids, right, um, can create the wrong outcome as well, the results that we don't get.

[00:26:13] Because the way we communicate, so I think as parents, it's really also important that we understand what does, for example, when the kids are saying certain things. What does that actually mean in their eyes? Yeah. And, and, you know, um, and then how do we then, right, look at, well, okay, this is what it means to you, so clarify, then to resolve. Because a lot of times as parents, we make assumptions, too. And sometimes those assumptions are, you know, spot on, but a lot of times... It isn't, right. And that's what causes, you know, conflict in communication.

[00:26:57] Chris Schwager: With the clients that you teach. Are they micro size businesses? They're pretty small.

[00:27:03] Jacqui Ashley: I, actually a lot of the clients have different backgrounds, like some like from businesses who want to start businesses. Um, Clients who have just say for example, a CEO just started a, a new company was a, um, a high senior level manage manager, but now is a CEO. So again, uh, transitioning to that kind of position requires a different mindset and confidence. So, and then I've got, you know, mom entrepreneurs, you know, who want to start a business, uh, but then there's the, how do I balance the work life balance? And then there's that, you know, the thought that keeps coming up. Can I, can I do this? You know, the fear of judgment or, you know, what if I do and I fail or, you know, so I get a lot of clients from various, different backgrounds, but mostly they're in some, I guess, role of leadership, wanting to transition, but there's something that's blocking them. Yeah.

[00:28:18] Chris Schwager: It's, it's, um, amazing, isn't it? That, uh, and I learned this from my years of Being in BNI and going and networking with different sized businesses, they all struggle with very similar problems and that the people behind them have exactly the same human problems as anyone else, right? Um, can I do it? Uh, why am I not doing it this way? When will I grow? When will I be better on camera? You know, all of these, all these things that they say to them. Why don't I have enough time? Why can't I prioritize my day? You know, like, like so many, so much.

[00:28:51] Jacqui Ashley: I'll do it when I'm perfect, when it's perfect, when I've got this right, I'll do it. And I'm like, I tell you what, life is never going to be perfect and you are never going to be perfect. And no human being is perfect. So I say you start actionally, action, take action, take inspired action, and it's perfectly imperfect.

[00:29:13] Chris Schwager: Yeah.

[00:29:13] Jacqui Ashley: Because. Yes. Yeah.

[00:29:15] Chris Schwager: A lot, a lot, a lot of, a lot of these people as well, um, have to spend more time with themselves. Um, and I'm about to go on a quest to shut down my toxic social media for a month and detox out of it and, and just go on hiatus. On an organic post on organic posting to see what that does in terms of getting value back into other areas of my life. Because I think about my day being consumed partly with, what do they call it? Doomscrolling, right? Doomscrolling, this ridiculous obsession that people are going through now is, and I'm sure it's self gratifying in some way, but going through this thing, you know, complain about the money they're not making, the time they don't have, and the fucking kids not doing what they should be doing, right? But that's happily be on the toilet for 30 minutes, checking fucking TikTok, right? Um... So I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it a crack most likely in November and just shut, just have a final post and go, Hey, I'm on, uh, I'm, I'm out for a month on this is, this is what I'm doing purposely and I'm going to see what impact it has on my life and, and the business. My, my gut feels on the business, it won't have a huge impact, um, because our lead flow is predominantly coming through, through ads, which they'll continue to roll, of course, but the organic stuff and me and my obsession with checking every five seconds what's happening on LinkedIn or TikTok or whatever. It's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, uh, pull away from. It's a fun experiment.

[00:31:05] Jacqui Ashley: I, I, I, I love that and I think everyone should be doing that every now and then. Comparison is the, can be a killer to joy as well, right? When you're looking, going through social media and comparing, okay, oh, what's he done and, oh, I need to do this or, you know. And I got a lot of clients who get stuck in that. It's like an addiction because they get into Facebook and they go scroll down and then they see something that I don't like or they start comparing themselves to others. And that's the problem we get to this. As much as I love social media, I, I can see how it helps businesses, you know, in this digital marketing world we're in. But at the same time, right, you can. You can go down that rabbit hole where you start comparing yourself. And then that's where all this limiting beliefs that come up for you over and over and, and here's the thing, you know, the only person you should be really comparing to is you. As long as you're making progress and you're better than you were yesterday, then that's all that matters. But that's the problem in society right now. It's like, you know, we could, we, oh, I'm not at that stage where that person is or that business. Um, you know, um, so I need to do this, this, this. But meantime, while that's happening, their mindset, right, is going, Oh. I can't do this. Or, you know, and then overwhelm kicks in because I've got to do all this, this, or I should be doing this. So we end up shooting ourselves.

[00:32:32] Chris Schwager: Yeah, it's finishing before we start. Yeah, so it's um, it's exciting space for you to be in. I think this, I mean, my business coach talks a lot about saturation of coaches and all this other stuff. And I think it's probably more like a saturation of coaches. And it's like this in the video industry really is when you think about it. You know, everybody can pick up a camera and start filming these days, right? Like it's, you know. Bloody literally go buy a camera, you call yourself a videographer. There's no, there's no credentials needed. And that's the whole reason I got into the game like 20, 30 years ago. Um, but, um, yeah, so it's the good ones though, that have gone through the grit and the grind and actually failed and come back and succeeded. And they're the ones that, you know, uh, the good ones to, to go and hold on to. And I think given that you're, this is your, your, your thing. I'm sure you're a fantastic coach and do amazing things for a lot of amazing people, um, that just don't have the intellect and don't have, not spend the time on self development like you have to be able to, um, to accelerate themselves through life and get over some of those massive limiting obstacles that they were faced with.

[00:33:48] Jacqui just wrapping up now because I know you've got to shoot off and I've got to have something to eat because I've been running ragged. Um, what is what is the one thing that you would say to the, you know, it's funny because my, my, uh, I think my preconception was like, oh, yeah, she's talking to micro businesses, you know, like one man dance and all that, but there's, it was interesting for me to hear that you'd been working with, you know, CEOs and senior executives. Um, what would you say to your next potential buyer, um, that would sway their opinion about choosing you?

[00:34:31] Jacqui Ashley: Here's the thing about coaches. There are a lot of coaches everywhere. Um, and I believe there's enough fish in the water for everyone, right? And I'm going to be very honest too. I...

[00:34:45] Chris Schwager: Please be honest.

[00:34:45] Jacqui Ashley: Not everyone is for me. Not everyone is for me either. Right? Right? Those who resonate with me will get me. Yes. Um, but you know, I've... My modality is very, very much like science based. Yeah. But heart based at the same time. So I have a real bit balance of both, but I will call you out on your shit, right? Because if there's something that's going on, I'm not one of the, like, I'm, I'm a very nurturing coach, but I will call you out on your shit. If I know there's something going on, right? Because at the end of the day, people need accountability as well. Right. And, um. I know that, here's the thing, anyone can change. When you say to yourself, I can change, that's bullshit. It's if you want to. So here's the thing, right? If you want to change, you certainly can. Because up until now, up until, I'm 48, up until now, everything I've done is habitual. So if I suddenly want to say I want to change my personality, change myself, I can certainly do that. I just need to work my mindset so everything is workable and the because I've been through so much and I've gone through those experience that and the combination of, um, starting my own businesses and, you know, um, coaching people and also, you know, a lot of research behind a lot of the tools that I use is I don't recommend anything unless I've actually gone through it. So, um, I'm a big believer in walk and talk. If you're going to preach, you also got to do it too.

[00:36:26] Chris Schwager: Yep. And I think that's probably the stigma around coaches too is like, Oh, well, what have you actually achieved? Right. As to why would I put my faith in you to guide me through my shit. If you haven't gone through the grit yourself and I think that's where they can kind of sometimes come unstuck. I'm going to be a life coach and they're literally like 23 and they've never done anything. You know what I mean? So, um, but thank you so much. This has been great. I've enjoyed every minute of our chat together, which certainly talk the same language. Um, that I guess the takeaway I see is, you know, yeah. If you can't, that's complete bullshit. And Jacqui will call you on it, which is, which is why you pay the big bucks.

[00:37:10] Jacqui Ashley: Yeah. Why pay for it? I would say, you know, give it a go. Cause you will never know. The one biggest thing is regret.

[00:37:17] Chris Schwager: Right. There you go. Straight from Gary Vee. Hey.

[00:37:19] Jacqui Ashley: Thank you, Chris.

[00:37:20] Chris Schwager: And look, if you want more information about Jacqui, we're going to include a link to Jacqui's LinkedIn profile and website in the show notes. I'm sure Christine will take care of that for us. A couple of weeks for you, Jacqui, you'll get to hear and see, I'm sure, some of the wonderful things that we've talked about today. And thank you, thank you, thank you.

[00:37:41] Jacqui Ashley: Thank you so much, Chris.