When the Dream Job Becomes Too Much with Betty Fotofili (Episode 199)

[00:00:00] Welcome to the show. This is a really nice way to bring in 2025 because things got a bit out of hand last year. And we had a pretty hectic end of the year trying to get ourselves organized and whilst keeping a business floating, clients happy, et cetera, before our six week European holiday. So thank you for persisting with me.

[00:00:22] I want to say a little mention to the US listeners. And I think there's like 60 percent of you guys. Uh, it's. I don't know what Australia actually does, or maybe it's just the fact that you've got way more people than us, but hey, thank you for your support. We're coming up. This is what episode 199, just so you know, Betty, you just, just, just didn't quite get to 200.

[00:00:48] Um, but I've got Betty. Betty's a friend of my wife and these guys are really. Kick an arse, which is why I got Betty on. Betty's, um, a former, I'm gonna get Betty to introduce herself, but former Crew member, film, film videographer. You'd be better. I hate the word videographer, but please clarify to the audience.

[00:01:11] Yes, I would like to just clarify, I was never a videographer. Camera assistant. Or camera assistant. You're a clapper, right? Clapper loader? No, but I have done it before. As for fun? No, I'm actually an assistant director, so I'm the one saying, how long will we take? We need this shot. So I There was a, yeah.

[00:01:28] How long? Yeah, [00:01:30] how long? That's the role. How long? That's the three words. And then why? Taking too long words. Yeah. How long? Yeah. And then yeah, why? And then changing everything around to Yeah. So we're not wasting time. Um, but yeah, that is me. I was doing that for approximately 25 years, and then I was trying to transition out of that.

[00:01:48] Um, then I taught at film school thinking, Oh, yes, I'll get more time back. But what ends up happening is that at film school, you end up doing so much work out of film school and not getting paid for it. I'm like, okay, this is not working because, um, as you all know. When you become a mom and that's what happened, um, yeah, my priorities changed a lot and then I've transitioned out of that.

[00:02:10] But yeah, that's me, uh, as an assistant director for 25 years. So you're out. So tell us about some of the big projects and films and stuff that you worked on. Um, well, one of my first, actually my second ever film, uh, was one of the, in the AD department, I was on Matrix and the Matrix, uh, Revolutions and Reloaded and Revolutions.

[00:02:29] That was actually When I look back, that was one of my most favorite films to work on, and it was two films at once. Um, not just because that was one of my first, but we just had, with anything in life, like when you have the right people on the bus, you have the best time, no matter how hard anything can be, but we had the best team ever.

[00:02:50] And it was just so fun. So that was more one of my second film. Um, my last big kind of film was the Crazy Rich Asians, um, which [00:03:00] actually was a really tough film in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, but it was, it was amazing. And, um, what else did I do? I've done. So what were you doing like on Matrix? I was like the fourth.

[00:03:13] AD. Fourth AD. What about on Crazy Rich Asians? I was the key second assistant director. Oh, that sounds more impressive. Yeah, so I was the key assistant director. But then again, like, when was Bloody, wasn't that like, late 90s Matrix, right? No, it was actually, like, late 90s would have been Matrix 1, and then I was still at school.

[00:03:31] Oh, what did you work on? Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions 2 and 3, which wasn't as good, um, as, but it was so fun to work with. I can look back now and I'm like, oh my gosh, it was so, in comparison, sorry to say Wachowskis, but it just didn't have that same, um, and You did a long, you did a long stint there, like 20 years, you said, in film?

[00:03:56] 20, 25 years, and then Probably a couple more years transitioning out of that and doing mainly television commercials because they were short form. Um, and easy to integrate into mum life. What was the, what was the life like for you, uh, working on those films? And even in the transition, what was, well, no, let's, let's stick with the earlier days.

[00:04:18] What was it, how was it? Oh, I absolutely loved it. Um, for me, I was so passionate. So really the long hours, it didn't matter. I just had so much energy. [00:04:30] Uh, I, I, I thrive in crowds. Like I thrive. Being the loud one, because when I was a kid, I wasn't really, not allowed to be the loud one, but I wasn't able to really express how I wanted to with, Seven other children and, you know, it was, yeah, so it was kind of like my, oh my God, this is me, this is where I can boss people around, you know, bring people together and build harmony on set and do 5 million things at the same time.

[00:05:00] And I loved it. So, yes, it was very, I was fortunate to, we'd be working most of the time. And going from film to film, I actually started in TV or running on commercials. And then I got my first running job. Do you remember Heartbreak High? Yeah. I did like a couple of days running, being a runner. When you're a girlfriend, you pick things up for everybody on that.

[00:05:25] And, and then from there I started. Worked on All Saints, which is the host of the show sleeping around the hospital. So that's where I believe I got my most of my training, um, on set for a year. And when you're working on TV, things just, you don't have time to do anything. So you just learn to set the extras, get them to sign paperwork, give people radio, all at the same time.

[00:05:49] You know, because let's face it, there's not much quality on TV. It's just like, get the shot, move on. You know, boom in the way, whatever next shot, like there's, you're going to a tight schedule. So that's where I [00:06:00] learned, um, the ropes. And then I, not long after that, I transitioned to film cause that's what I wanted to do.

[00:06:06] And everything on that just slows right down in terms of set up time and, and quality. So, um, Why or how did you get into it in the first place? Um, I, I knew I wanted to, first off when I was at school, um, my brother, older brother was in the lighting department and I always had an interest. I was like, where are you going today?

[00:06:33] What are you shooting? And, and, uh, on the weekends, if, or, or in the school holidays, if he was working on something, I'd actually ask if I can go and I'd go to on set with him sometimes. And I just loved it. I loved. The process of moviemaking, but then also seeing your work on the screen. And I think it's the team effort that I love, mainly the collaboration together.

[00:07:00] So, I was supposed to go do a communications degree at Macquarie University. Um, I got into that and I was like, yep. And then mum was happy. And then I said, mum, I'm not going to go to university. I'm going to go straight into the film industry. And then I'll go back. Yeah, sounds very similar to my journey.

[00:07:22] Oh, really? What happened with you? Yeah. Oh, no, no, just, just kind of like, it's not about, this is about you. [00:07:30] But no, no, it's just very similar. Like, just couldn't do the education thing. Just like You know, fall into this. I, I did the first feature, feature films I worked on was as first ID, but they were low budget, but one was sold to Sony pictures and that was kind of my claim to fame.

[00:07:45] And I was like, good, I'm out. It was kind of like, almost like, okay, I'll just quickly test the water and know that, you know. Find out what I need to find out and I'd already had the company at that point as well So I realized that it was probably going to be a fairly hard slog to be consistent and make money in Exactly have a future like, you know working minimum 50 hours a week on Most shows is on American shows would be 60 hours a week minimum So, you know, I did that for so long before I realized that I was actually tired And you're like, Oh my God, I don't know if I could keep doing this.

[00:08:21] Um, but I only started realizing that in my mid thirties. Um, because I loved it. I mean, you know, in my late twenties, I was getting really big films, like the big ones. Like, um, I did a film with Robert De Niro and on my first big US budget film, Robert De Niro was in it. He shot with us in Melbourne for 10 days.

[00:08:43] I was 28 and I was like, Oh my God. Okay. So this is when I started to get the bigger jobs. And of course I just kept going because that's what you do. Like you just keep going and then start traveling overseas a lot more and it's like, wow. But then mid thirties, I'm like, [00:09:00] I'm not holding down a relationship.

[00:09:02] It's because I was, you know, and what I really missed was like having consistency at the gym, like going, Oh, I love it. And then you get sucked into a film and then. You don't have that consistency of health anymore. And that's what I really started to miss, um, like in my thirties. And I was like, and so then, um, yeah, that's, I loved it, but yeah, it comes a point.

[00:09:25] And, you know, I wish I had the insight. No, I don't. I don't ever get anything. But if I was to give someone advice in the industry, um, I would say, you know, start investing, like do a Lloyd course or something like that. You know, you do make. You do make a lot of money because especially you don't have the time to spend it, especially when you're on a big job or you're traveling, you actually don't have time to spend it because you're always working or it comes the weekend, you're so tired or people just will go up and bend up.

[00:09:56] But yeah. There's so much time you could just be investing like hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars into investing in your portfolio. You had fun, you had fun with crew, you're living the life, uh, mid thirties, you're thinking right, there's more, there's gotta be more to it. I want to have a family. I want to have freedom and choice of time.

[00:10:20] What was the, what was that transition like out of it completely? It was, it was, it was hard. I do have capacity to do a lot of things, [00:10:30] but it was hard because I was doing to try and transition out of it. I, um, I was still doing ads, like first thing on commercials, and at the same time I was getting my certification to teach at TAFE.

[00:10:44] I got offered a job at TAFE. I didn't end up taking it, but I, I started teaching at Sydney Film School very quickly. So I was doing that. While trying to, um, be a mum and also being in commercials because that was making the money. And at the same time, yeah, it was, it was hard trying to find the right thing that was going to give me more time to be a mom and not rush around.

[00:11:13] But then also, yeah, have the money and then have the fulfillment because you know what it's like when you're doing great creative projects, you get that passion. Your heart's like, wow, wow, wow. Look what we made. But, and yeah, I just didn't want to settle to just get a corporate admin job or whatever it would be.

[00:11:33] Um, and I'll actually, I'll tell you when I was trying to transition and I was a few of my, uh, friends that I'd worked with in the past had got jobs at Netflix. Like the, the head at Netflix for Australia, um, Amazon Prime, and one of them, I, I emailed him and, you know, texted him back and forth, and then he said to me, he goes, Betty, seriously, I know you, I know how you work, [00:12:00] you are going to be so fucking bored.

[00:12:02] In the office. Yes. You'll be called production executive, but you are going to be so bored. And I was like, Oh, and I was thinking, but no, I want that. I want stability, but really I mean, something else came along after that, like that didn't go through. And plus when you work for those big companies, it takes like.

[00:12:22] It took him a year to get his job, just paperwork, bureaucracy, until they established it. It's in Australia, but, um, but it's true. The main thing is you want fulfillment too, because otherwise it's not going to last. Yeah. So tell me about that balance. You know, it's obviously a pretty big shift from where you are.

[00:12:42] Where you were then to where you are now, tell me what's, what, what are you doing these days? Oh, so these days I, 18 months ago, I invested into a health and wellness company, a Japanese company, which means I promote their products online and I can just do that from my phone. I also do it in person. Like, if any mum at the park is asking me what I do, I'll, trust me, I'm letting her know about it, because it's, it's given me the freedom to just pull back.

[00:13:11] Um, I now do it full time, and Yeah, my, I am just so much more calmer. I know I'm a calm mama. I get to go to the gym five days a week if I want to. I get to prep meals in the day and not rush at night and actually eat better. And, [00:13:30] and then also, I mean, apart from that, there was a big personal journey to start because, you know, before this business, I didn't really appear online.

[00:13:41] Um, but this has made me go inward to find out exactly who I am, because, you know, working for so long, you don't really have the time to, or you just don't think you need to. Um, obviously, like being a personal brand. You must turn up online authentically. And that was a big challenge for me because I'd be like, I'm not going to talk about like, what do I value again?

[00:14:04] I'm not sure. I just go to work and come back. So yeah, life is super different now because I have more time. Like, um, I became a published coauthor of a book. Who would have thought like I, only because I was appearing online, someone approached me, but then again, if I was approached when I was still, I mean, I wouldn't have been approached.

[00:14:27] If I was working still because they only wanted people that are embodying a slower life. in line with their values and their beliefs. Um, but I wouldn't have had the capacity. What are some of the challenges that you, that you've seen come up where you've, you know, it's like, shit, this is not filmmaking.

[00:14:46] This is really have to extend myself here. What have been some of those new challenges that you've been faced with in the last, I say, 18 months, uh, learning all these new things that aren't just, Hey, having a good time on set and working 50 hours a week. [00:15:00] Yeah. So the biggest challenge was the. You know, peeling my onion challenge to find out who I am.

[00:15:06] The second one was actually having the discipline to work for myself. Because, you know, when we go to work, we turn up on time. I mean, most of us, let's say. We turn up on time, we're working for someone else, and we respect what we do when we do that. So, the challenge for me also was to be like, hold on, if I'm going to turn up on set 60 hours a week for someone else and the producers and the actors, why, I need to show up for myself every day.

[00:15:32] You So, getting into that, um, frame of mind. challenging in a sense, but once I got the hang of it and a lot of it was, you know, working on my mindset that I could actually do it. Um, and being consistent with that because, um, that's really where, where, where it's going to go wrong when you start thinking.

[00:15:56] Oh, I can't do it. I don't have enough time off. And it's like, once you start talking like that, you start going into a spiral and then anything that you say, you will believe. But really, we all have time to put in two hours a day to something for yourself or health or whatever it is. I put a post out recently, talked about Susan and I working more closely together and she was saying how traumatized she used to be in working with other colleagues in her [00:16:30] fashion businesses that she worked in over the years and it was just such a toxic environment and you know, at that stage didn't see any other opportunity that this is it and work, work like this or, or don't, you know, um, What would you say to, to people that are maybe in, stuck in the rut that aren't either are or are not enjoying the regime, you know, the stock standard lifestyle that they created and you know, um, what would you just say to them to leap out of that and to try something new?

[00:17:03] Um, yeah, first of all, I would say number one is make sure you do something for yourself every day. Like, just give yourself self love. Cause that's, whether it's just sleep more, whether it's, I don't know, go for half an hour and sit in the sun or do something like that. Because yeah, when you're not feeling at your best, you're always going to make wrong decisions.

[00:17:26] And when you're not loving yourself, you're not really respecting yourself. Um, number one, heaps of self love and then start working out what your values are like work out. And, and the way to do that, the way I do it, I do it about every six months is. If you're finding it hard to do, you kind of go, well, what do I spend most of my time doing?

[00:17:48] What do I spend most of my time scrolling on Instagram? Uh, how much, you know, like you work out, like, where do you spend the most energy? Or, um, or what do I really love? Like for me, and I think a lot of [00:18:00] people, their, their most of their, their number one value is health. Because if you don't have your health, you know, everything else can go to shit.

[00:18:07] So, get clear on what your values are, what's really important to you, and it's like, what lights you up. And when you start to kind of deal, I guess it's like peeling the onion as well, then you can kind of see, it will just make you realize, because of course you're in the hustle, it's like a washing machine and you're just like, you're so tired and you can't, you're a zombie that you can't think, but when you start going, hold on.

[00:18:29] This is what I love. One, two, three, four, five. You can get it down to five. Does this job give me what I want? Like go through all of it. Does it make me feel good? Is it, yeah, other people there, do they make me feel good? And you, then you start to realize that, hey, actually this is not right for me. And you can actually, it's easier to kind of.

[00:18:50] Delve out and look for something different or, and then another thing is once you start finding what your values are, you will, you'll be clearer on, on what's important to you and you'll be a faster decision maker. And you know what? And like everyone has skills, whether in fashion, film, anything. There are so many opportunities for you, whether you do do another job or you could just start on the side and online business.

[00:19:18] selling your skills, whatever it is like. Um, so yeah, people will find value out of it. So yeah, just get clear on your values, but give yourself self love first all the [00:19:30] time, every day. Like, cause once you do that, you start respecting yourself more. And, um, yeah, then get clear on your values and then start tossing up whether the current lifestyle is working for you and what's not working.

[00:19:40] Oh, it's the job. All right. Let's work on something to get out of it. Do the side hustle, love yourself, work on yourself, try something new. You don't have to be stuck in a side hustle. I think this is all great tips. Thank you, Betty. The, um, best place to go and connect with Betty is I think on your Instagram, right?

[00:19:58] Yeah. We'll put an Instagram handle in our show notes as well as. The link to the business that Betty's invested in. And we've also invested in it as well, uh, which is called Enagic, which is something that you want to go and check out. If you're into good health, you want to make sure that you provide the best nutrition and, uh, Health for your, you and your family, then go and have a look at that too.

[00:20:23] It's pretty, pretty cool. Benny, this is it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I appreciate your time. It was great learning about your journey. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.